Tuesday, 16 December 2014

The lies we tell ourselves.

For months I have prepared myself that regardless of the outcome, this was the end of my road, nothing more to do. But unlike Forrest Gump, I've reached the end but I find I can't just turn around and go home and declare the whole thing over.

I know I'm done with IVF. We threw the kitchen sink at that last round and still nothing. I don't regret trying, had I not I would always wonder "what if" because until I went through it I thought it would be my magic cure, and given my age, wasting time wasn't an option. Donors and surrogates - I don't think that's for me. Instead I find myself entertaining two options: Traditional Chinese Medicine and Laproscopic Surgery. Both long-shots, but what do I have to lose? The journey continues in 2015 when I will schedule my first consultation with a specialist in gynaecological TCM.


  1. I have been following your story for a long time, on WTE and on here. While it makes me sad to hear the outcome of this last transfer, I'm happy to know this is truly not the end for you!! I am looking forward to more of your updates! Good luck with everything! Xoxo

  2. Thanks! I wish I could just walk away, it would make life so much simpler, but the simple truth is that every time I'm faced with a baby (on TV, in the mall, etc) I just can't get over the loss I feel at being denied another pregnancy, another chance at a vaginal birth, and another chance at breastfeeding.